There’s an old Jillian Michaels workout DVD I used to enjoy doing regularly (because #momlife and I don’t have time for those things these days) where she said way too cheerfully into the camera, “Get comfortable with being uncomfortable!”
The two women in the background doing the exercises giggled but I found it hard to laugh with them as I huffed along, trying to catch up.
As I think about my own relationship with discomfort—that is, being comfortable with being uncomfortable—I realize that I do a pretty good job at acknowledging discomfort in my life, but not so great at sitting with it. Inviting it in and being comfortable with it. Letting its presence just be there and not trying to fix it.
Instead, I find myself doing everything I can to either: 1.) avoid discomfort or pain, 2.) make it go away as quickly as possible, 3.) pretend it isn’t really there and distract myself, or 4.) do everything in my power to fix everything. Whether that’s facing and trying to fix my own discomfort or trying to fix the discomfort of those around me because it hurts me to see their pain (namely, my children).
While I consider myself an empathetic person who sits with others in their own pain and discomfort, I also want to do everything in my power to make it better because I don’t like to see them hurt. And I do the same for myself: I want to make things better so that it doesn’t have to hurt. So I can regain a sense of security—and let’s admit it, control—in the midst of the trials.
As long as I can remember, I have felt the need to avoid discomfort, not wanting to rock the boat or hurt the feelings of others or myself. Life seems more stable when everyone is happy, including me. The older I get, and the farther along I am in my parenting journey, the more I realize just how important it is to not just acknowledge our feelings, but to invite them in, to sit with them, and to know that they are okay, even when they are hard and uncomfortable. I need to get comfortable with being uncomfortable.
The same goes with our circumstances. Our struggles. Rather than trying to control or run away from them, we must recognize and face the truth that life is going to be uncomfortable and hard. It is always going to be messy no matter what we do or how much we try to avoid it.
By not truly facing our discomfort, we are simply creating a sense of security that doesn’t really exist. A security that isn’t stable, that depends on our own sense of control. I have to remind myself again and again to let things be as they are, to stop trying to take the reins but to trust God with everything. Dave’s presence is still with me, reminding me of this truth that he lived out.
Stability and security don’t come from perfect circumstances or our own happiness. Feeling safe, secure and stable comes from trust. Surrender. To God’s promises that he is with us in our discomfort, our pain, our struggles. In him we find rest, safety, love, hope. Today I choose surrender, facing the challenges and letting myself be strengthened, renewed and filled with love and hope.
She Speaks True Words 
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