spring – She Speaks True Words

My neighbor has wind chimes, and on an especially windy day, there is a symphony of music in my yard that plays through closed windows. I hear the music amongst the passing traffic and rustling of leaves, bringing its songs of hope. The wind is becoming much more crisp these days, the warmth of the summer sun fading into the distance and shining a brilliant white light as the days of winter draw near.

Even though I have lived in Iowa most of my life, winter has always come as a shock and is my least favorite of the seasons. Gone are the days of no coats, long walks or park dates with my kids. Gone are the days of the changing leaves filling my neighborhood with hues of magenta, butterscotch and fire; they are replaced by bare trees waiting for new life to sprout in the spring.

For the past few years, I have felt much like the tree waiting for spring. Bit by bit I have been pruned, my leaves showing signs of beauty and wisdom and so much life, yet in the beauty sometimes comes the ashes and the fall. Because just as we cannot have spring without winter, we must shed layers of ourselves to make way for new life. And even though the winter has been the season of life I have been in for quite some time, I didn’t give up on knowing that spring would still come.

Because even in the darkest days of winter, when there are fewer hours of sunlight streaming into our days, the wind chimes still blow on a windy day, reminding of us of hope and singing its song back to us, even when we forget how. Even when we feel the bitterness and the cold, there are still signs of warmth and love around us when we open our eyes and our hearts.

Winter. Yes, it’s hard. Yes, it’s coming. Yes, sometimes it feels like a short season that can last a year. But when we light a fire and find warmth and comfort around us, we don’t have to let it bury us. We can let it shape us and bring us new life. Because spring is coming and it is up to us if we will bloom and prosper.

When you lean into the discomfort and let yourself find warmth and joy and peace in the midst of us, it’s amazing how God will meet you. Even in the face of uncertainty.

Breathe. You’ve got this. Spring will be here before you know it. Listen for the steady wind chimes and you’ll hear songs of hope along the way.

Spring has never been my favorite season. I’ve always enjoyed the seemingly endless days of summer, filled with cookouts, swimming and the sweet, coconut smell of sunscreen lingering on the skin. Late nights watching fireflies dance and staring up at the stars, filling my mind with the hope of endless possibilities.

Once I am over the months of sweating profusely, I look forward to fall. Crisp leaves painting the skyline and sidewalks with hues of orange, pink, yellow and red. The smell of bonfires in backyards. The roar and excitement of people cheering on their favorite football teams. Snuggling up in my favorite sweatshirts.

Winter has never been my favorite either, mostly as an adult…because who likes driving in snow? It’s fun playing with my kids in it for about five minutes. And then spring seems almost a nonexistent season most years, as winter lingers into April in Iowa and then it quickly becomes blazing hot, making the frigid days of winter a distant memory.

This year, spring has brought upon a lot more meaning than in years past. The winter was long and hard for obvious reasons, enduring David’s diagnosis and quick turn toward the worse. In some ways the months felt long at the time, facing the giant that we did. Long days at the hospital and then hospice. But looking back, I realize just how fast things progressed. It was a winter of the soul for many of us.

Some days, the memories from the past several months come in flashes, in and out of my mind, as I am distracted by the everyday needs of caring for the girls, and of course, everything going on in the world around me. And some days, I let them in and sit with them, letting the grief be with me. I let myself remember both the hard and the good memories. The girls and I share random things about Daddy on an almost daily basis, the things he would say or do. Many of the stories make us smile.

The girls are doing well considering the circumstances we are in. They play together really well (most of the time) and I am loving seeing their friendship deepen. They find fun in their days and bring much needed laughter and joy to mine. That being said, as the weeks go on, the days can be long and hard. I am feeling my endurance built and am reminded daily of my need to trust in the path and the process. As the season has changed, so have I. Despite the circumstances around me, I cling to the promises of spring. Of hope and of growth.

The weather this spring has been glorious this year. I am thankful we have been able to get outdoors quite a bit. I am beyond grateful for our neighborhood, for wonderful friends and neighbors. They’ve blessed me and my girls in more ways than I can count.

I am realizing more and more that despite my planning nature, I really need to focus on the present. The simple joys and things to be grateful for in each day, whether enjoying a picnic outside with the girls, listening to the girls giggle as they play together or reading a good book (so thankful for my digital library card!).

Though I don’t know what the next days, weeks and months will look like, I am doing what I can to be mindful of what is going on while also trying to not let myself get caught up in it. Making decisions I feel are best to keep the girls and me safe…even if it can be exhausting.

So for now, I am choosing to embrace spring as much as I can. Letting myself feel the blades of grass in my toes and the warmth of the sun on my skin, watching the girls run freely, sing loudly and yell hello to each and every neighbor they see. Because there is nothing more beautiful than letting in the joy that they bring. Along with the promises of hope. Of growth. Of rising up and letting myself be filled with radiance and truth.

Tag: spring

The songs of wind chimes.

Spring.