The other day, the girls helped me pull weeds from my backyard. The weeds stood behind a shed and around my air conditioner and had been long neglected since spring. Somehow, in ignoring them, I thought they just might wither away. It’s been a busy summer of travel and fun, so pruning and taking care of my yard was the least of my concerns. I’ve never had a green thumb and it was not in my interest to start.
Turns out, when you neglect weeds for too long, they begin to take over and grow out of control. Some of the weeds that grew had developed a thick root in the ground, making them difficult to cut down. I had to place all my weight into my pruning shears to cut the roots, attempting to yank them out of the ground. The roots currently still sit there, blazing in the 100-degree heat days later, waiting for me to come and prune them away.
I have come to realize that the weeds in my life are the same. The areas where I have let myself grow stagnant and comfortable, the shortcomings of how I show up in relationships, whether as a friend, daughter, mother or colleague, I know that I have my imperfections. It is up to me whether to prune and refine who I am and to seek growth, to step out in faith to make the decisions and accept the challenges I know are best for me, or if I should ignore my intuition and opportunities to grow within and become the best version of myself. Because of my need to stay where it feels safe, I have let my weeds grow a thick root for the sake of my own comfort, and in doing so I have lost touch of my own self and my growth. I have slowly been working at refining myself, more so in the past year than ever before.
I am grateful that it isn’t just up to me to refine myself, either. I am reminded of the scriptures that talk about remaining attached to the vine, aka God, because apart from him we cannot bear fruit on our own. The work we do on our own, apart from our faith, is superficial at best. As I look to plant my roots in fertile ground, I trust that God will allow me to bear fruit in my life, even when the idea of leaving my rocky and weedy soil for new ground feels scary. I know that God will refine me.
It is in the unknown and in the trusting that I know that God will be at work in me, that I will be refined as long as I remain attached to the vine. The pruning process is difficult, when you feel yourself needing to let go of things that are no longer helpful or serving you, but just like the satisfaction of pulling the weeds from my yard and making room for new growth, it is satisfying to let go and trust and make room for God to work in me.
This is my truth: God has chosen me to bear fruit that will last, but the soil in which I am planted is rocky ground. It’s time to take the leap that my heart is longing for, even though the refining process will continue to challenge me. I am trusting that this is the way to go, and I will remain in God’s love so that his joy may be in me and that my joy may be complete.
Refined. Whole. Made new. The best is yet to come.
She Speaks True Words 
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