I love watching my girls dance. There is something about the uninhibited, pure joy they express in surrender to themselves, to the music, to experiencing the depths of the joy in the moment. When I watch them dance, I sometimes feel the urge to join in (and sometimes I do!) and find myself in that same surrender of self.
Surrender…as adults, we are much more inhibited. Surrender feels like a lack of control. It feels like we are not trusting in or are giving up a part of ourselves. Like we can no longer grasp tightly to our plans, or change our life circumstances. Surrender feels like the last thing we want.
The past few months have felt like I am forcing myself to let go of my own plans. I’ve felt more of the “elephant on my chest” anxious moments, as I don’t know what to expect with life’s unknowns and hardships from one day to the next. The waves of grief and anxiety come and go, and I find myself not wanting to surrender. I give into the distractions, the busyness, the headlines.
Surrender.
In spite of my urge to control and resist surrender, I am feeling a strong tug on my heart to let go of my own agenda. To stop, to breathe, to be still.
I am not so good at being still. As an overthinker my mind has a hard time slowing down. I find myself having difficulty surrendering to the moment, to the present. Yet I feel God’s calming presence and voice telling me to stop running. Stop hurrying. Surrender to the joy of the moment. Even when life is hard and messy and there are so many unknowns. Surrender to His love, His presence, His truth.
Finding joy doesn’t have to be about having a positive attitude all the time. But rather, acknowledging my feelings, the hardness of the things I am dealing with, and then letting them not define me. Surrendering myself to the moment. The gifts of the day. Letting things be as they are, knowing that I am exactly where I need to be. That I am not alone but surrounded. By people going through their own stories, by those who love me and care for me. By a loving God who wants nothing but to pour out His kindness and show me His beauty and His loving guidance and protection.
Peace, I have come to realize, doesn’t come from life being devoid of hard things. It comes from trust. It comes from surrender. It comes from knowing that God is the light in our darkness. He is walking alongside us. I am so grateful for His calming presence. His everlasting promises. His goodness poured out.
Today I surrender. And tomorrow I will too. And again and again. To being still. To knowing love. And the peace that lasts, carrying me through, allowing me to find a pure, uninhibited joy.
She Speaks True Words 
Kristin, wonderful! Love, Mom
LikeLike